Utter bafflement

Discerning readers will has seen occasional references to Carol's declining health these last months. It's always difficult walking the narrow line between over and under-sharing. And personal over-sharing can be a killer on blogs!  However, as many local friends already know, Carol was engaged with the long- covid research team for 7 months in the early part of this year. Because brain fog and limb weakness is associated with Long Covid - Carol suffered badly from Covid early 2020 - it was thought that this could explain her condition.  But it became very obvious in the team research that something more complex was happening.

She was then transferred to the 7 month waiting list for the memory clinic. After one disappointing postponement we were given the date November 5th. Since Carol has only dressed and left the house once (briefly) since July 17th. it was agreed she should receive a home visit.  You can imagine how much I pinned my hopes on this visit that, at last, it might provide a clear diagnosis!  The nurse consultant was very thorough and impressed me by the care she took with both me and Carol separately during 90 minutes.  Carol's excessive sleeping, weight loss and memory lapses were carefully chronicled.  At the conclusion, while still in bed upstairs, Carol undertook a long memory test. And, wait for it....she answered most of the questions slickly and accurately. The consultant expressed surprise that she responded so well. So did I! . 

This cognitive display clearly puzzled the consultant. Indeed, she found the situation utterly baffling. It meant, she said, that it was impossible for her to explain this range of symptoms. She concluded that the only way for us to make progress is for Carol to receive a scan at the hospital, which will then be examined by a cross-specialism team.  I have no idea how long we wait for a scan, and you can probably sense some frustration!  I am immensely grateful for the prayers and care of so many friends and though I don't expect to have any news to share for a while, I shall pen a post when the bafflement is resolved or, at least, less baffling!

Intrigued by FP

One of my old books intrigued me by its title: Studies in the Christian Character. Written by Francis Paget (died 1911 aged 60)  a noted scholar and Bishop of Oxford , the book is inscribed :With the writer's love, January 1895.  What intrigued me was its focus on the Christian Character, which he claims receives too little contemporary attention. That's true today, too. don't you think? Which of  these characteristics which he describes as 'the coherent group of traits evinced in lives surrendered to the rule of Christ with reliance on His grace' deserves singling out ? He lists 22 possibilities though some of them are repetitions. Many you would expect to see such as: goodness (Ps 37:3), honest use of words ( Matt. 12:36), courtesy (John 2:11),  and kindness ( Lk 10: 36). 

But what particularly struck me was how he began. Did he rate this as the most significant of all?

Safeguard of judgment (The spiritual person makes judgments about all things ,1 Cor. 2:15). He wonders whether in this verse the apostle Paul is startling the Corinthians with their petty conceits 'that if they had seen the intrinsic greatness of being Christians they would have been ashamed to care so greedily for little things, such as agitated those who did not know Christ.' That they should see 'more of all that is in their reach...the distinction and dignity of their calling. Living in the power of the world to come, and conversant already with its glory,.... (the Christian) confronts this world as one who grasps the right standard of all things with a resolute and certain hold; he can scan, examine, scrutinize, and try things with the independence of one who stands on surer ground than this world knows; his is the quiet and lowly courage that springs from the sense of relation and communion with transcendent greatness; he holds his own through all glamour and confusion...for his heart stands fast and believes in the Lord.' 

I know it's 1895 language but what an arresting way to begin listing aspects of Christian character. How as spiritual people we should not respond in petty and superficial ways with knee-jerk reactions. Later he warns of he dangers of living as a thriving earthworm who misses out on the glory of  the high calling of one who see things differently because they share in the mind of Christ. Which is never petty nor superficial.  Let's resolve not to be thriving earthworms!

JHW (2)

Just a last look. I know the language is dated and of its time, with rhetorical flourishes uncommon today. And it has very high expectations.  But I have gained much from its seriousness and urgency. 

For example, in an address titled:  'Believing is Seeing ' Jowett reflects on the divine promise given to Abraham, described in Romans 4. How God's call came in such negative circumstances. Common experience was against it. Common sense was against it. But faith is a finer sense than common sense. It's not 'seeing is believing' but 'believing is the only true seeing'! Even when the world around rejects it. Focusing on the verse Rom 4:20 'He staggered not...through unbelief' he talks about our living in circumstances of unbelief.

We have heard the divine word but...common sense is very aggressive, and it rears itself against the promise of our God. Our material setting is unfriendly. Carnal forces are ironical in their easy triumph. And we begin to look foolish in our simple faith. And, God help us! sometimes we begin to feel foolish, and we are tempted to make obeisance to the kingdom of the apparent and to bow down and worship it. Never was there greater need of deep-living men and women who will confront the proud and massed 'unlikelies' with the spoken promise of our God. Never was the need more urgent that we should confirm ourselves in the promise amid the loud and blatant taunt of our foes. We must wear the word of the Lord like an athlete's belt! 'Having your loins gift about with truth!' These are the men and women who remain victors on the field at the end of the long and bloody day. At the beginning of day theirs is the faith which gives substance to things hoped for; at the end of the day the things hoped for have become their eternal possession. 

Yes, God needs deep-living men and women. Elsewhere he also writes about us being people of inclusive sacrifice.

Now this is the secret of the Christian life, to make the inclusive sacrifice. Religious life is inevitably tedious when it consists of a conscious yielding of our small things and a withholding of our central strength. If our self is kept back from the Lord, our religion will be a procession of reluctances and irritations. every circumstance will present a separate problem instead of being caught up in the sweep of a mighty consecration. And that is the trouble with a great many people. They try to be religious in smaller surrenders,  while the great surrender has never been made. And these small surrenders encounter curbs and restraints and the soul is annoyed and discordant. The large surrender brings us into God's large place. We pass into the glorious freedom of God's children and His statutes become our songs. 

So much to ponder from an old preacher. Thank you JHW. 

Where are they going?

To interrupt JHW and answer the query raised by the last post about my books. Well, it's mostly about where my books have gone. A substantial part of my library was left in the US - particularly the  large academic collection extended while teaching there.  Returning to the UK, another very substantial part of my library went to a seminary in India.  I was left with a strange mixture of old theological classics, biographies and those collections of sermons which did not have an immediate appeal.

So I have collections still of  Beecher, Boreham, Brookes, Fosdick, Gossip, Inge, Morrison, Parker (actually an almost complete set of his NT sermon commentary), Shepherd, Stewart, Thielicke, Watson. This isn't a complete list but it gives a good idea of the kind of stuff!

I still have some Spurgeon volumes that I want to go to a good  home!

If this stirs up any interest - please let me know!

Saying Farewell - JHW

 I have mentioned before my highly unfashionable hobby of collecting books of sermons. Preachers, who a few decades ago, drew crowds into disciples, built communities and impacted culture were prolific suppliers of these books.  Because these make for unfashionable reading now, over many years I picked tens of them up in second-hand book shops, often for a few pence each volume. Some sets of volumes have gone to libraries, but I am now left with a considerable number of elderly books destined for recycling. However, before I say sad farewells I thought they deserved some parting attention. 

As with John H Jowett (1863-1923) an English preacher hugely significant in his day with concluding ministries in New York and Westminster Chapel England. You realize how different the world was back then. When he died, the King sent condolences to Jowett's widow.  The browning volume I am saying farewell to is a compilation of the The Best of John Jowett. His sermons remain immensely readable, conversationally delivered with clear organization and key themes running through like the Gospel as comfort, his empathy for those who are suffering (he suffered poor health himself) and above all his conviction of the Gospel as Good News. Let me dip into a couple of sections before I let him go.

In his sermon on The Sufferings of Christ he tackles a much overlooked verse (2 Cor 1:5) 'For as the sufferings of Christ abound unto us, even so our comfort also aboundeth through Christ.'  Let me edit two complementary sections : First a challenge about the dangers of avoiding  suffering.

It is possible to evade a multitude of sorrows by the cultivation of an insignificant life. Shed ambitions in every direction, cut the wings of every soaring purpose, assiduously cultivate a little life. By this means a whole continent of afflictions will be escaped and will remain unknown. Cultivate negations and large tracts of the universe will cease to exist. Cultivate deafness and you are saved from the horrors of discords. Cultivate blindness, and you are saved from the assault of the ugly. Stupefy a sense and you shut out a world...reduce yourself to the smallest compass. And indeed, that is why so many people, and even so many professedly Christian people, get through life so easily...because they have reduced their souls to a minimum. They have cut the sensitive wires which bind the individual to the race, and they are cosily self-contained, and the shuddering sorrow of the world never disturbs their seclusion. . Tiny souls can dodge through life; bigger souls are blocked on every side.

I turn the matter round. I have already said that if we lessened our lives we should lessen our sorrows. It is now needful to add that if we lessen our lives we also lessen our joys. Deaden the sense of hearing and you escape the discords, but you also lose the harmonies. Drug your artistic sense, and you lose the pain of the ugly, but you also lose the inspiration of the lovely. If by the enlargement of my life I let in human sorrow I also let in divine consolation. A big, holy purpose makes me more sensitive towards the sin and hostility of man, but is also makes me more sensitive towards God. If we suffer with Christ, Christ Himself becomes a great reality. When life is a picnic we play with theology...when we suffer with Christ we come to know Christ, to come face to face with reality, and the idle superfluities drop away. Our fellowship in His battles makes us receptive of His peace: 'My peace I give to you.' There is no surer way of becoming sure of Christ than to follow the way of sacrificial life and service.

Some of us know life is not a picnic! But what a challenge: Enlarging my life to let in human sorrow opens up divine consolation. That's stayed with me ever since I first read it.  I don't want to lead an insignificant life and miss out on God's  big holy purpose. Worth pondering, yes? 

A portrait saga

Spurgeon's College hung pictures of past Principals in the main building. In my time they were positioned along an upper corridor, staring down at you.  All painted in oils, one or two really captured their subjects' expression, all dressed in academic robes often set against an impressive background of packed book-shelves.  When the time came for me to leave, the last thing I thought about was my portrait. Actually nobody thought about it. There was no budget nor encouraging discussion. 

It is a strange thing to think about. Pause to ponder how you would like to be portrayed in oils.  Oddly egoistic isn't it? I guess it tests your level of narcissism.  Of course I have some ego but my commitment to push the issue was low.  Crossing the Atlantic to begin a new teaching job near Chicago, meant energy for pursuing this portrait was pushed off the back-burner, stuck firmly behind the stove. But then my successor resurrected the issue and suggested that the era of oils was over. Why not have a photograph instead?  He said he would have his taken as he began his tenure, capturing more youthful looks!  Being Principal can certainly age you.

To play my part in the US I asked a photographer friend to take my portrait. Kindly he agreed and in his studio he snapped me in academic robe against a plain background.  The smallish photo he presented me seemed to do the trick. A year or two later I saw the outcome hanging at Spurgeon's.  Enlarged to fill a frame, approximately sized to accompany earlier oil portraits, it showed a bland standing figure not unlike a full-size passport photo or bus pass.  Too late to think of insisting on a more distinctive head and shoulders portrait in an impressive setting. Too late. 

Why bring this subject up?  Well, in the tragic closure of Spurgeon's College, every item was put in a catalogue for an auction, including the portraits.  I was given the address to send a closed bid for mine! Can you guess my response?  Yes, inaction. The auction came and went and my portrait along with other unsold items was pushed into a side room ready for the skip. And there the story would have finished, except that one of my later successors returned to collect his portrait from this junk room and saw my picture languishing. He asked whether he could take that one too and permission was easily given. Then he emailed me and said could be bring it when he was driving past my house.  Would you believe it? Door-to-door service of something I assumed was dead and buried. He came last week. I really enjoyed seeing him again and having my bland picture reminding me of its saga.

I've attached this poor photograph - strangely, being on its own it doesn't seem such a disappointment and I do look young and I'm smiling! 

 

Stage 5

To round off this little reflection piece: 

You can imagine, as Principal, the Bible remained central to teaching and preaching. I am not sure how to describe Stage 5 (that I am still in). Perhaps it began when I was asked to preach at the International Congress of Preaching in Westminster Chapel, London. I was also asked to speak to a seminar on ‘How I prepare to preach each week’.  I realized that I had never described how I set about listening to Scripture in order to deliver a sermon.  Honestly, what did I actually do?  What had become my habit?  Fully aware of the need to be truthful I constructed for the first time the pattern.  

It began: Prayerfully read the Bible aloud.  Spending quality time with the Bible expects the Lord to speak to us.  Time, patience and prayer, immersing in the text as though you have never heard it before. Just the Bible and you - for you and your listeners! Yes, commentaries are necessary to investigate and check but not at first.

I look back on this occasion as the beginning of my passionate engagement to teach other preachers about preaching. To make a long story short, this blossomed into my next role as C.W. Koller Professor of Preaching at Northern Seminary, Illinois, USA.  Teaching preachers needs oodles of humility and openness to the Holy Spirit. Part of my job involved writing a text book for seminary students. I knew that I needed to provide imagery that described my journey with the Bible and I prayed for a vivid picture that would justice to the principle of immersing into Scripture. Eventually, because of my stress on immersing myself into God’s word I chose the picture of the ‘preaching swim’. I set out the stages of preparation to emphasize the humility and wonder of immersing ourselves in God’s word with its own dynamic and purpose, flowing like a river, into which the listeners would be encouraged to join in too.  My main text (360 degree preaching, Hearing, Speaking and Living the Word, Baker Academic, 2003), describes how God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is involved in the whole process.  How deeply God desires us to learn, grow and be shaped into Christly community by his living word. 

Yes the Bible has been central to my life. Through childhood pictures, Sunday School exams, Teenage conversion and maturing in Bible study, ministry calling and the teaching of preachers. It's been an extraordinary journey. And I'm still on it. 

Inevitably I wonder about your journey with the Bible!  How is it going?