At a finishing post

Last night's retirement occasion for Carol and me was a spectacular surprise in every way.  In the week before we had received a constant stream of apologies from friends who could not attend.  When we went into the Lindner Conference Center at 6:15 last night I was amazed to see the main conference arena set out with tables, tablecloths and flower arrangements (oh yeah!) filling the room. In front of the windows looking out onto the lake there were tables of refreshments for the multitudes.  We looked at each other amazed at the organizers' faith!   A handful of friends were there!  But, by the time we hit 7:00pm and the program started the room was amazingly full.

My two Deans called it my 'Recognition' evening and had organized a program which brought greetings and tributes, prayers and song with such warmth and over-generosity of spirit.  For me the highlights were many because everything that took place was thoughtful and kind.  Let me mention just a few (and forgive inevitable omissions):

• hospitality - so many people worked to make the center look beautiful and welcoming with staff bustling around to make everything work. 
• tributes - Lauren Visser spoke movingly for the students and beautifully not only summed up my teaching philosophy but modeled it,  while David Fitch with brilliant wit (and wildly over the top as you might expect) expressed his thoughts with seven headings including a crowd stopper of ....
• Carol.  It was so important that Carol be honored because she is vital for my ministry and right from the opening welcome from Dean Karen, and greetings from an absent President, she had deserved pride of place as the love of my life, my best friend and the most loyal co-worker imaginable.  I was thrilled about the love expressed for her throughout the evening.
• Letters from the past.  Bob Price wove together letter tributes ranging over my past ministry and surprised me by making it  42 years celebration rather than just my time at Northern.
• Ninja - Adron Robinson shared this nickname from his doctoral class, apparently given me because of my smiling delivery of comments after each of their sermons and the students' surprise to find they had somehow amidst the smiles had been critiqued with cuts to the body!  
• Emeritus Professor.  Jim Stellwagen, Chair of the Board, presented me with a plaque and I am thrilled with the honor and continuing connection.  Thank you.  
• FRIENDS'  The most wonderful aspect of all was the presence of friends from so many aspects of our lives in the US who had taken trouble to be there and joined the line to speak to us, gave us cards, wrote in a book their greetings and, collectively, gave us memories we shall always treasure.

Someone in the seminary said that this was the happiest occasion they had experienced in that Conference Center, and we certainly felt it could not have been a warmer kinder evening with so much laughter.  Our deepest thanks to everyone who contributed.

Anticipating the finishing post

I interrupt the anecdotes (mercifully!) to announce a particular finishing line that I shall shortly cross.  Carol and I are returning to Northern Seminary for my official farewell (and the final emptying of my office and store room).  March 21st will mark the formal closure of 14 years' teaching at Northern.  Since 2000 when the C.W. Koller Chair of Preaching was inaugurated with me the first occupant, Carol and I have lived an exhilarating adventure. In addition to teaching which I have revelled in, and writing books which I have revelled less in (!),  we have been thrown into some amazing church experiences.  Three times I have been interim preacher in remarkably contrasting churches and each time been gifted with another wave of friends.  Lectures and conferences have taken us to well over 30 different States, as well as internationally, where again we have made lasting friendships.

The seminary is graciously setting aside an evening (March 21st)  for us to say goodbye to faculty, staff, students, neighbors, churches I have served and so many friends who have enriched our years.  The exact arrangements are a surprise but to my great joy I have just discovered is that the evening will include a Service of Thanksgiving.  Giving thanks to God is top priority!

I plan to go on with some preaching and freelance teaching commitments (so long as Carol deems me intelligible!) but this date gives opportunity for thanks as full-time work draws to a close.  Actually, two months later, May 21st marks the 42nd anniversary of my ordination and ever since 1972 I have been engaged full-time in Christian ministry.  So, a big thank-you to the Lord who has made it possible and so many of you who have shared along the way.

Odd anecdote (2)

Unfortunately, I discovered early on how easily a preacher can lead people astray.  I was student pastor at John Bunyan Baptist Church in Oxford, where frequently I had to lead the whole act of worship.

After the opening hymn there was a prayer of praise and confession.  It was the habit of this church(and I remember it being fairly common practice then) for these prayers to close with the whole congregation reciting the Lord's Prayer.  The pastor gave the lead to the familiar words.

On this occasion with a high degree of confidence and loud voice I led my people:
Our Father who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name,
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil ....

At this point I sensed the prayer was shorter than normal and the congregation was dividing - a small number were following me (though hesitantly), another group was saying something about 'Give us today our daily bread' and the majority were stabbing at words without direction. If it had been set to music there were the makings of a round as different phrases sounded over against each other.  However, it wasn't and in some panic I reached for the end:  'For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.'  The congregation avoided eye contact with me for several minutes, and I with them.

I know the Lord's Prayer can be said meaningfully together when led properly   Ever since I have taken care to keep set words like these clearly in front of me. Another learning experience!

Odd Anecdote (1)

Recently a friend passed on a collection of stories from a Church of England vicar about various happenings in his ministry.   Some of them were highly amusing and they triggered all manner of memories from my own ministry some of which should probably be kept hidden (and will be).

My students sometimes ask me what my most embarrassing preaching moment has been.  I look back to my days as a seminary student when I was chosen to preach at a large, prestigious church in the South of England. For their Annual College Day they operated a rota system between several seminaries including my Baptist one.  The lot fell on me.  I received a sheaf of instructions through the mail, giving precise service details - where I should stand and what I should say throughout the highly liturgical service.  I was also instructed to wear my gown and academic hood.

I tried not to be stressed out but I was still very inexperienced and certainly hadn't met quite so many instructions before.  Trussed up in my only dark suit, tight-fitting white shirt, gown and hood I managed to get through the service until the moment I ascended the small pulpit.  I was hit head-on by a brilliant shaft of sunlight. Able only to grimace at the sombre congregation I launched into the first sentence: 'There is one word which strikes us with so much famillach, so much framillary, so much FRAMILARRRLYUGH.' Each time I stammered it out I gave increasing emphasis and made less and less sense.  On the fourth desperate attempt I gave up all together and lamely said, 'Well, you know what I mean?'   There was not a flicker of response anywhere as the sun picked out the beads of sweat on my forehead.  I plunged onwards.  As I reached the bottom of page 1 I turned over to find page 3 upside down. Stupidly I tried to move on while surreptitiously shuffling the pages only to discover all four were out of order. Reaching the eventual sermon conclusion was a moment of sheer relief, felt even more by the congregation than for me. 

This experience was near the beginning of a long learning curve that I am still on.  However, I resolved I would never use the word 'familiarity' in the first sentence of a sermon!

The first question (3)

Going to the core
But we must let this specific question do its work with us.  So many questions asked by Jesus are personally intended.  And this question needs to be taken seriously wherever we are on the Christian journey, 'What do you want?' goes to the core of everything that we are living for. As Jesus keeps asking us 'What are you living for? he longs for us to wake up to realize he is saying: 'Just how much do we want me'? 

Like many spiritual writers Oswald Chambers sets the stakes high and he hit me hard in one of his meditations. He asks what it is that we want.  Some wants do not require Jesus he says. If we want to stop wrong-doing we don't need Jesus;  if we want to live honestly we don't need Jesus. 
But when the heart cries out 'I want, God knows , I want, that Jesus Christ should do in me all He said he would do'. How many of us 'want' like that? Do you want, more than you want your food, more than you want your sleep, more than you want anything under heaven, or in heaven, that Jesus Christ might so identify you with Himself that you are His first and last and for ever?  God grant that the great longing desire of your heart may begin to awaken as it has never done'.

I think Jesus keeps asking me this question because with each new day I know I must be challenged again about what I really want in my faith walk with Jesus Christ. I need to space and time to keep reflecting: What am I living for? What do I want more than anything else?  What are my honest motives right now?   Because Jesus wants to identify me with Himself and to go another step forward as a whole-life disciple.

It does not happen instantly. These disciples will need three intense years and a lifetime beyond that. I must really want this prayer relationship to deepen at the center of my existence.  It's that important to answer clearly! 

The first question (2)

Giving space
In the end they can only reply: 'Where are you staying?' This seems so  feeble and inadequate yet perhaps it is shows them overwhelmed by Jesus and stunned by his approachability.Maybe they hope that they might indeed be able to spend quality time with him? What we do know is that Jesus replies by inviting them to come with him and that he gives ample space and time to begin a relationship that will prove the most important force in their lives. 

The Christian journey begins as Jesus asks us about ourselves. Why? Because Christian faith involves a two-way relationship with Jesus where he wants us to be real with him. And this is no instant happening.  Divine friendship takes time to grow and these followers are only at the very beginning.  But Jesus is willing to give them all the space and time and time they need  He always does that.  Later he will say: Remain in me and I will remain in you John 15:4).   This start took a few hours but was to dominate the rest of their lifetimes.

Giving time today
Today, this two way relationship is more difficult because it involves the spiritual practice of Christian prayer that is unlike any other relationship in the world because it involves trusting God though you cannot see him.  Jesus did not make prayer complicated.  In fact, the very opposite. His only instruction is to find a private place, close the door and pray to your Father who is in secret (Matt. 6:6).  There's a powerful and complex spiritual dynamic involved but you do not need to know how it works.  Just trust in Scripture's promise that Jesus is always praying for us (Heb 7:25) and the Holy Spirit is always helping us (Rom. 8:26) as we join in with Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Someone once said that they couldn't do this because they didn't really know what they believed about God.  And the advice came back: "Tell God that you have trouble believing in him'.  When we create space and time to be honest with him, keep reading Scripture's big story to keep us grounded in his living word and come with open hearts, he promises to meet with us.  His presence is kindly, patient but also probing.  And, note that there were two people in the story - it always strengthens our prayer lives when we supplement private places with fellowhip prayer.

All this means a serious investment of time.  Human friendship doesn't develop overnight and divine friendship does not either.
And one thing more.....

The first question (1)

As a follow-up to my last post I have been thinking again about Jesus' very first question in the story John 1: 35-39. Some jottings follow that maybe will stir us up spiritually!

Confusion
Have you had a problem of starting with Jesus?  Maybe you are at the very beginnings unsure how to start the journey of Christian faith? Or, perhaps, you have hit a patch where Jesus no longer seems as real and you would like to re-start?  How can we begin and be sure it is real?

Jesus' first question in John's gospel - John 1: 38 - is one of the greatest spiritual helps we could ever have. Two would-be disciples wonder how to begin. They can have little clue what lies ahead.  They already know that Jesus is a significant and powerful figure. Their teacher, John the Baptist, called him 'The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world'.  But even to speak to him seems improbable,let alone get to know him.  When they draw close they must wonder what will happen.  Will their hopes of getting to know him have any chance? 

We should always marvel how Jesus takes the initiative. He could have commanded attention on his own terms.  Just how would you expect the Lamb of God to speak?  But he asks a question which reveals how he always seeks to deal with anyone who wishes to begin with him.  What do you want?  What are you looking for?

Open friendship
Could you have a more open question than that?  So basic yet gloriously authentic.  Jesus opens the way for them to be real with Him, so that they can honestly share what they are after and reveal who they are. Jesus is not quizzing them about their religious beliefs or experience. He is opening up conversation about their reasons for being there and they are about to discover that there is nothing more wonderfull than being listened to by one whose love and wisdom is greater than humankind can ever find elsewhere.  They don't know yet how Jesus behaves with people.  They have yet to hear him say: 'Anyone who comes to me I will never drive away' (John 6:27).  They are the first to find out how Jesus deals with ordinary people, very ordinary, who would like to get close to him. 

More soon......