A brave lady

Today, over three months later I was able to register Carol's death. The coroner's report arrived yesterday about her post-mortem results. Cold, clinical and alarming. Fortunately the neurology professor in charge of her case 'phoned me and helped unpack its technical language. What came across clearly is that Carol was hit by two diseases, both of them very rare and when combined lethal. The coroner had never seen a case like hers in a career covering thousands of patients. As the prof. described them I could only marvel about the way she had kept going through these recent years. And kept going with such kindness and care for others even as she was battling through a black miasma of cognitive mayhem.  On the day she died her power to swallow had long gone as well as her speech. Yet, she struggled to thank visitors for coming just four hours before she died. While dementia can often mute a sufferer's understanding, Carol remained painfully aware of her disturbing  and painful decline. She really was a very brave lady.  I knew that sitting by her bedside but learning about these diseases makes me marvel at her heroism so much more. 

One disease (called AGD) was slowly progressive, gradually disabling Carol with neurodegeneration. Marked by grave changes in memory, personality and psychology, its strange cognitive lapses occurred in continuous clinical decline.  It is a frightening disease in itself and Carol's struggles to be 'normal' over recent years showed such bravery.  

But catastrophically (that was the word the prof. used) Carol was hit by rapidly developing brain stem encephalitis with symptoms like the loss of ability to swallow.  Even rarer and combining with AGD it speedily moved to death with lethal effectiveness. In her last few weeks she must have struggled every day to keep going. Always polite and grateful to nurses and visitors. Sometimes I saw on her face, utterly disfigured by disease, her desperate attempts to understand what was happening to her. What turmoil the combination of these diseases caused.

I believe she was sustained by God's grace but what mental torture she went though. The researchers are still working on her case to see whether they can find some hidden trigger that caused her precipitous decline. Probably we shall never know.  What a grand lady she was!

Countdown 11

I know many may not be particularly interested but just to show I have buckled down as the deadline looms! Hebrews 11 is the most famous chapter in the letter - the rollcall of faith. Studies over four days focus on these sections.

Multi-faceted faith (verses 1-7) Some of these Old Testament figures prompt memories. Noah with the ark and animals first imprinted themselves on me while reading a children's bible. Imagine how these new Jewish Christians must have cherished these stories too. It was vital to show these new Christians that their own rollcall of men and women belong in this God story, now fulfilled in Jesus. As we look at the names: Abel, Enoch and Noah we realize that, obviously, their faith it defined as full personal faith in Jesus as Lord. Yet it is faith that endures, accepts God's word, wins God's approval and recognizes God's power, even though he remains unseen. Faith is multi-faceted and these Old Testament characters showed it too.

Real deal faith (verses 8-22)  We would expect Abraham to have major billing on this list. After all he is called 'the father of all who believe' (Rom 4: 11)  What courage and faith he shows setting out into the unknown - taking God at his word with minimum evidence. The seemingly impossible birth of Isaac to barren Sarah actually revealed a lapse of faith as Abraham tried to sort out the problem himself. What a contrast with his later behaviour toiling up the mountain to sacrifice Isaac. Now he appears to reason that somehow God can work it out. (verse 19) I remember hearing the spiritual challenge: Let go and Let God. This perhaps shows that he has learned to leave sorting out problems with God.

Saying No (verses23-31) It's a surprise that in Moses' action-packed life the fact of his adoption by Pharaoh's daughter is featured. This propulsion from a nobody in despised Jewish slavery to a member of the Egyptian ruling class with its privileges of rank, prestige, wealth and powers gives him a choice. Will he embrace the riches and pleasures of an easy life or dare to identify with his own despised people? By saying No to an easy godless life and yes to sharing in the suffering of his own people, Moses demonstrates high order faith in God's promised future.  This act of faith was particularly pertinent to these first readers who were in danger of giving up their faith because of abuse and suffering. Faith sometimes involves saying no to the easy path.

Crescendo of valour (verses 32-40) Unequal space is given to personalities on the rollcall. Suddenly the pace quickens with a cascade of names. Their faith is described in proactive courageous terms like conquering kingdoms and shutting the mouths of lions. Some of the descriptions of suffering sound tragically contemporary in the persecuted church But what a tribute is paid - 'that the world was not worthy of them (verse 38).  

Countdown 10

It's been serious focus time. I wrote last post that writing these Bible notes is demanding, disciplining and rewarding. I need to stress the rewards can be slow coming! Editing 330 words to do justice to each section of Scripture is much more about demanding and disciplining !  Hebrews 10 is split into three sections:

The new world view (1-10) expresses what must have been a profound shock to this young Jewish Christian church. Like when Copernicus discovered that the earth orbits the sun and is not the centre of the universe. Their once solid convictions about life-long Jewish practice are shattered. The yearly rounds of sacrifices once believed to be essential to their relationship with God are now 'set aside' (v9) - for Jesus the Messiah has come. One person replaces the whole structure of the Jewish sacrificial system. It is revolutionary for us too. I remember hearing a debate between a critic of Christianity and a Christian theologian. The critic ridiculed the concept of sacrifice as primitive and insubstantial. The rebuke from the Christian was strong: Jesus was a Jew on God's mission and for God's purposes 'sacrifice' is essential to salvation. God says 'My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my way' and sacrifice is his way to save the world. He planned the cross for us. 

A holy privilege (11-25) has three pictures. Two are from the temple. First, the priests stand at the altar offering sacrifices. Second, in vivid contrast is Jesus seated in glory, having completed God's love mission for us. From humility on the cross exalted to authority in glory. Third, is the Holy of Holies in the temple, accessible only once a year by the High Priest. Yet now, torn open by Jesus' sacrifice, opening up God's very presence for us to enter. To give us confidence to worship God in his holiness. Worship involves both personal consecration with sincere hearts and corporate consecration as worshippers have responsibility to spur each other to love and good deeds. What a corrective picture to any casual worship!

Serious business (26-39) Sadly, it is clear that some of these new Christians, having begun with enthusiastic faith, now find confidence and commitment to Jesus is ebbing away.  Here are some tough reminders of how God meted out judgment on those who rejected the law of Moses in the Old Testament. How much more seriously does God regard believers who are rejecting Jesus? Graphically they are described as 'trampling the Son of God' (v29). It's uncomfortable being reminded of our accountability  before Christ's judgment (2 Cor. 5:10) Nothing is more important in accountability than how we persevered in our faith and loyalty to Jesus as Lord. 

And, next, chapter 11!

Missed deadline

My journalist son tells me that deadlines are their best friends! They concentrate the mind and close the deal. In October 2025 I agreed to write Encounter Bible Notes for the last few chapters of Hebrews. The deadline was months ahead. June 15 2026. So far distant that I could relax and finish other projects. Indeed, I pushed it into 2026 as a responsibility to be plugged into the New Year. Little did I know that on January 1st Carol was to have the first of her falls and life was to revolve around another axis. Did I forget about Hebrews? Too right! When Carol was dying I received details of the writing contract complete with the June date. It was going to be missed. No deadline best friend here! The Editor extended the deadline by a few weeks, so it is eyes down with a fresh task. 

I guess that Hebrews is not everyone's favourite book. The young C.H. Spurgeon admitted, with typical humour, how he found it difficult to understand. As a teenager he revealed: ' I have a very lively, or rather deadly, recollection of a certain series of discourses on the Hebrews which made a deep impression on my mind of the most undesirable kind. I wished frequently that the Hebrews had kept the Epistle to themselves, for it sadly bored a poor Gentile lad.' 

Inevitably, because it's written to the Jewish Christian nucleus of the young church it needed to show how Jesus not only fitted into the Jewish world of ceremony and sacrifice but how he actually fulfilled its ultimate promise in himself!  And because this young church was already being persecuted it was vital to encourage them on their Christian journey. I am beginning to focus on Chapters 10-13 and, in spite of the heat (here in the UK breaking records for June|) am seeking to hear God's word afresh for the readers of Encounter.  I always find this role demanding, disciplining and immensely rewarding. Just how best can I use 330 words to express a daily truth for each day?  As I go through this task I will signal some of my findings. They are not due to be published until 2028 so it gives a quicke heads-up to any who may be interested! 

Last words on testimony

Paul's Christian testimony has startling potency, especially facing these smasher-uppers. It's a shining example of the transformed life 'in Christ'. However in my sermon I needed to add a word on one particular expression that jumped out at me. Though I thought that my bereavement had not borne any influence in my preparation, I realize it triggered a strong response to a word in verse 11.

Paul gives unwavering testimony and writes: 'I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection' (Verse 10) yet he adds 'and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.'  The two little Greek words translated 'somehow' occur three other times in the New Testament and introduce a note of uncertainty. Could there be uncertainty along with such a strong testimony? Surely not! However, the truth is that you may have strong faith in Jesus (itself a gift of God Eph 2:8) and still have wobbles under pressure, questioning about how God can still be working his promises.

At this point I reflected back to the situations about which I posted once when Carol was dying (Corrective note 9 April). I have had many comments on this post, because I needed to correct any impression that our strong faith in Jesus meant an easy ride. At times the awfulness of her disease and the distress she was going through was deeply painful. Friends who visited said that if I had not been sitting beside her they would not have recognised her. So changed by suffering. So, yes, there are wobbles, especially when she told me how God was not answering her prayers to help her. I held her hand and prayed with her, but at times like that you just wonder how God is going to work it all through to his glory. You really do say 'somehow' in a questioning but also expectant way because you believe he will be faithful to his promises. Giving testimony, living testimony, is not an easy ride.

And talking of blog posts I had to end the sermon with the story of the man on my roof  (You're with Jesus, right? 6 May) A few in the congregation had read the story but most hadn't, and they obviously enjoyed hearing of the solar-panel washer who boldly told me his potent testimony to reassure me that Carol is safe with Jesus. A great way to end!

Smasher-uppers and a testimony

When you feel you are in the right and others are wrong it's easy to make trouble. You don't need big issues to do damage. In my ministry I have encountered big issues, sometimes when leaders fixate on something they are so sure about. And, always, discernment about what is good or evil is a necessary spiritual discipline. (Heb. 5:15). But you can fall out seriously on lesser matters. In my decades (!) of ministry I guess one of the most obvious issue has centred on music. Moving from formal worship with classic hymns to contemporary music in less formal ways has sharpened strong opinions. 

Recently, I came across a- book - a self-published autobiography by a gifted musician who happened to have led worship in one of my churches. I remembered he had briefly mentioned his time in my church. Only a few words, mainly about one Sunday evening. He was in the congregation when a visiting group (I think of young people) led worship. At one point the congregation was encouraged to dance in the aisles, though no-one actually did!  He was near me standing at the door afterwards, when an older lady stormed up to me. He names her - she was one of the old faithfuls. And she was furious. He says that she stamped her feet. (I think that's artistic licence). But her attack was ferocious and wounding. 'How dare I allow music to degenerate and ruin her church etc.' Apparently I responded with pastoral concern while challenging her to see a bigger picture. I supposedly said that she couldn't bully her way because she felt she was right! Anyway, it was the end for her and storming out she finished with the church. What surprised and saddened me was to read that the author, my music director, was to resign too. He couldn't cope with any more smashing-up. Though I talked with him about his move, he never revealed this story until I read the book! How sad. (As a healing footnote - the angry lady eventually returned. Perhaps other churches she visited were even worse! I like to think it was love that won her back). 

How does the apostle Paul deal with these smasher-uppers. In the best way possible. He answers that question Who matters most in church? by giving his testimony about Jesus.  That's the corrective to any who lose sight of Jesus. GIVE YOUR TESTIMONY ABOUT JESUS.  LIVE YOUR TESTIMONY.

What a deeply personal testimony this is. He confronts these Judaizers whose credentials bolster their self-confidence about how right they are. It's as though Paul says: 'If you want to play the credential game about being right let me tell you I outclass you'. Look at the list, verses 4-6 . Not only circumcised, Hebrew of Hebrews, Pharisee, but a persecutor of the church. 'As for legalistic righteousness, faultless.'(verse 6). He knew that he was just so right he crusaded to destroy the church. 

But now he says he was so wrong. So very wrong.

Now I have met Jesus. Actually, he met me. And all these credentials I once thought all-important are gone from my life. Because 'Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, first hand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant - dog dung (The Message v 8 remembering the street dog!)  It is extraordinary - the arch persecutor now founding church missionary for Jesus. Utterly amazing. It's one of the greatest Christian testimonies, so dramatically moving from darkness to light. Now it's all about Jesus. 

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So what happened?

It was strange preaching again without Carol being physically with me. And, yes, at one point she did creep into the sermon! I began by thanking the church for their extraordinary hard work and loving support poured out to make Carol's Thanksgiving Service bearable and, at times, even joyful. I also had to mention the stupidly obvious sermon title I had chosen: Who matters most in church? Even people who never go near church will answer 'Well, it's God isn't it?' We need to say Jesus matters most - Head of the Church, his body. But what is stupid is when we never ask the question!

In these verse Paul is explosively personal. You can sense the passion and anger. Please understand that Paul really loves this church yet there is something he must repeat. It is essential in their situation but because God promises to keep speaking through his word, we must hear him now. A couple of different things happen. First there is a warning. 

(Verse 2) Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh.  There are two Greek words translated dog. One is for house dog. 'Sit....Fido. Good boy.' House trained – loyal friend. As a nation of dog lovers and cat lovers, we won't have a bad word said about Fido. But there is another word for dog – street dog. Street dogs are a world away from Fido. Feral, vicious, dangerous roaming the streets and attacking passersby. This is the word here. Street dogs have followed the apostle Paul wherever he has gone (see them mentioned in other letters too) with his good news message that Jesus is enough for salvation. They believe in Jesus but as Jewish Christians they are bullying and demanding converts need to be circumcised and follow other Jewish practices in order to be truly saved.  They are known as Judaisers. And when I say bullied there is a pernicious one upmanship that so upsets Paul. They know they are right about what matters to God and this young church is wrong. 

And, at this point in the young church’s story they are immensely dangerous. This is no minor issue, because Jesus is a Jew who gloriously fulfils the promise of the Old Testament with the gift of the New Covenant. Instead of all the rituals and sacrifices repeated every year, Jesus in his own sacrifice on the cross achieves forgiveness and eternal life once and for all. Sheer grace. A new family of God, New creation. But their teaching undoes everything about the good news of Jesus Christ. It's legalistic add-ons put emphasis back on obeying old commands rather than living in freedom to love God and neighbour within a kingdom of grace. They are saboteurs. If they win the fight they destroy the heart of grace in Christ..They are so sure they are right.  

So, how do we sum up this warning?  Beware the smasher-uppers. I know that’s not a real term but you know what I mean – people  who are so sure that they are so right about what really matters and other people are so wrong, they are bullying and forcing their way to divide and smash up a church. To destroy relationships because they know who counts . They are acting as though they MATTER MOST IN CHURCH.  They really do. They must get their way and they don't care what they smash up. In this church it threatens everything This is a big issue. But smasher-uppers don’t really need big issues. People can fixate on many things in church and it's so often complicated by personality issues. We know....